Nico's school pictures* - take our poll!

We just received Nico's school photo today. I don't know if we should schedule a retake or just let things be. Nico went to school with his hair washed and neatly combed, but when he got there, he enlisted a friend to help him style his hair into a mohawk (or more accurately, a fauxhawk). Voila! Here is Nico's third grade picture:

Last year's photo was OK. Nico wore the corduroy jacket I picked out for him and he kinda smiled. He told me later that he had actually practiced this particular smirk. Here is Nico's second grade picture:

The previous year, for his first grade school picture, Nico put on the nice blue sweater I picked out for the occasion. Unbeknownst to me, he wore a Transformers Optimus Prime t-shirt underneath that he had planned all along to wear for the photo shoot. So, when he got to school, he took off his sweater and "forgot" to put it back on. For his photo, he has an odd smug/guilty expression on his face. Here is Nico's first grade picture:

Vic and I are not sure if we should settle for this year's current photo or schedule a retake. We don't know if the grandparents will want an 8X10 photo of their grandson being a prankster, but then again, the image really does capture his essence. Help us decide.

Should Nico sign up for a school photo retake?
	Yes
	No

* Sorry for the blurry, weirdly orange-tinted images - I don't have access to a scanner, so I just snapped cameraphone pics of these photos.

Nolan's school picture - progress!

Apologies for being one of *those* parents who overshares every detail about her kids all the time. I just picked up Nolan's school photo today, though, and am so delighted that I have to post it:

I have to admit that I completely forgot about Picture Day this year, which is why Nolan is wearing a hoodie (it's pretty much what he wears every day). This year's picture is a huge improvement over last year, when I was prepared and dressed him in a lovely sweater. I thought I had everything covered, but, well, see for yourself:

We should be getting Nico's school photo any day now. He has already warned me that it's not going to be pretty. Hmm.

Halloween Indecision 2010

Fine, fine. Nico won the Halloween costume battle. He gets to wear the Grim Reaper costume after all.

Vic and I discussed it at length and since my husband can relate to our first-born son much better than I can, I reluctantly consented to let Nico wear the grisly costume.

BUT he will not be allowed to use the fake blood pump. AND I didn't get him the scepter, lest you think I've completely ignored my instincts as a strict and frugal Taiwanese mom.

Also, here's a slightly edited chat transcript between me and my friend Jon about Nico's Halloween costume this year:

Jon: i want to offer up that we had to either make our costumes when we were kids or buy them with our own money. so if nico wants to make something scary, at least he has to be creative.

me: that's how it was for me too

especially with cheap chinese (taiwanese) immigrant parents

i told nico that even

Jon: right

no dice though, eh?

me: my mom would have been all, "here's some construction paper. good luck"

Jon: right

and if it came down to it

it was ghost or stay home

if you didn't want to put in the work

me: right, here's a pillowcase

and some scissors

Jon: do they even make costumes that gruesome in his size?

me: yes, isn't that ridiculous?

i hate the freaking blood pump

why is that necessary?

Jon: seems over the top to me

me: yeah, he said halloween is about being scary

Jon: well, it could be worse. you could have a daughter that thinks halloween is about being slutty

As for Nolan, he has to will wear the dog costume I made his brother wear for three years in a row.

Halloween costume conundrum

Nico and I are at odds about his Halloween costume. My 8-going-on-18-year-old son wants to wear a Grim Reaper costume we saw at Target and I completely hate this idea. The costume features an exposed skeletal ribcage you can pump fake blood into.

A few weeks ago, he said he wanted to be Boba Fett, which I was totally OK with. In fact, I encouraged this idea because his little brother could then re-wear the Ewok costume from last year and I could be Chewbacca again and we could get a family Star Wars theme going (again).

Then, kids at school convinced Nico that dressing up as a character is for little kids and that Halloween is really about dressing up as something scary. I told him I think Halloween is about dressing up as anything you don't normally get to be, but he gave me such a look of disdain when I said that.

I pointed out other skeleton costumes he could consider, but Nico is fixated on having a thoracic skeleton and blood pump.

Last year, I had the boys' Halloween costumes settled in September, but this year we are stuck. Am I being unreasonable in thinking it's inappropriate for a third-grader to wear such a gory costume?

Annual holiday photo, take 3981

The Holiday Cards Project is still kinda stressing me out. Ever since we had kids, I've felt pressured to come up with cards that feature a cute photo of our offspring. It really shouldn't be that hard getting two boys to pose for a photo. Right?

I mean, after all, it seems that every parent I know handles this without incident. My friend Laura manages it with *five* (with another on the way) kids! Five! They wear adorable matching outfits and all smile at the same time, with everyone looking into the camera. There is no eye-rolling, no crying, no sulking.

For me and Vic, it is exhausting trying to get the boys to cooperate. By the time we are done, everyone needs a nap.

Annual holiday photo tradition

Can someone explain to me the secret to holiday photo cards - the ones where everyone in the family wears matching outfits and everyone smiles? Seriously, I want to know what it takes to make this happen. How do other parents do it?

Both last year and this year, I tried to get the boys to pose for a Christmas-themed photo I could use for our holiday greeting cards. With my sister in town for Thanksgiving, I thought the extra pair of hands would come in, well, handy when trying to wrangle the guys into place. Not so.

Last year, Auntie Linda, Nico and Nolan posed for a photo where the boys made it clear what they thought of the idea of taking a holiday photo. They thought the same of it this year too, apparently.

Rest in peace, Linda Clark

Linda Clark passed away on Wednesday, December 2. She took her own life, leaving behind family and friends who will miss her deeply. We miss her already.

The church that held her memorial service on Saturday was full. So many people came to honor Linda's life - I wish she could know that.

Linda was a dear friend I'll remember most for her wicked sense of humor. I loved her for it - and for her passion and her boldness. She said things aloud few people would dare express openly. She was imperfect, like all of us, but she acknowledged her flaws; she never pretended to be someone or something she wasn't.

She had a deep maternal instinct that comforted me, a mother myself. As a stressed-out working mom, I often feel overwhelmed trying to juggle all my responsibilities. Linda shared countless parenting anecdotes and tips with me, stories about her daughter and son that put things in perspective, stories that had me in tears from laughing. I don't know how many times she picked me up when I was down, lifting my spirits with her wit.

I wish I could have comforted her in her moments of darkness. I wish I had known the depths of her despair and helped her find a way out of it.

She was a tough lady, strong and brash. She battled depression but I didn't think there was anything Linda couldn't handle.

I first met her three years ago when she worked at Case Western Reserve University. She joined Word Nerds, an informal network of campus communicators I co-founded. Her presence in the group gave us a jolt - that laugh, those stories! When she left the university we formed an offshoot of the original organization: WordNerds Without Borders. We met every month to share and discuss creative writing projects.

Linda was the star of the show at our writing group gatherings - always keeping us talking, laughing, thinking. Some of us are introverts, yet Linda found a way to draw us all out to share our stories. She was a terrifically talented dynamic, creative force - a writer, an actor, an illustrator and more.

I'm heartbroken that I won't hear that big laugh in my living room ever again.