Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Twelve Days of Man Cold

We are way beyond Day 12 of Vic's man cold.

After our trip to California, I was looking forward to a little pampering action. After all, I had taken the boys home myself, leaving Vic to spend a week working onsite in Menlo Park. Within minutes of hauling a five-year-old, a 2.5-month-old and our carry-on stuff onto the airplane, Nolan had a diaper blowout. He had another one an hour later. A few hours into the flight, Nico got upset at his Leapster and threw it on the ground. I confiscated it and he, of course, bawled, prompting a flight attendant to console him and ply him with chocolate bars. Anyway, I digress. The point is that it was a difficult trip and I was hoping Vic would appreciate it when he got home.

Instead, Vic came home with a bad cold that has resulted in him being lethargic, prone to extended coughing fits and in a state of general malaise. He has told countless people about the enormous mucus ball he coughed up (he scowled when I interrupted the third retelling with my own stories about my c-section recoveries) and has already been to the doctor, who said there is nothing going on but a mere cold.

The man cold is quite a sneaky affliction. I don't think there is a female version. The man cold comes and goes quite mysteriously. It seems to wane during Browns games and reappear with a vengeance whenever the baby needs a diaper change.

Does anyone have a cure?


Bethany said...

I am convinced that I got the Man Cold from Vic. But, as the hurricane dissipates when it hits land, so too does the Man Cold when it is passed to a woman. I am here multitasking like a mofo, head full of snot and all.

Meg said...

Lisa, I'm afraid there is no cure for the man cold. And sadly, the recovery time seems to only get longer the older the man gets.

My dad has had man colds for months. Literally.

janet said...

what about the need to max out on nyquil at the first sign of a sniffle and then wake up to a big dose of dayquil to start the day! then of course, take to thy bed for days on end