My sister has a wicked sense of humor and tends to be brutally honest - a dangerous combination. She's very talented at ripping someone to shreds with just a few choice words. Even when she's not trying to be mean, she is. Sometimes I'll go on and on about something I feel quite passionate about and she'll cut me off and say, calmly, "This conversation is not important to me."
So anyway, over the holiday break, she came to visit from San Francisco. She brought with her a stack of celebrity gossip magazines. One day, she pointed out a magazine article to me and said, "If I ever look like this, kill me." It was a story about a woman who survived a major skydiving mishap (maybe "mishap" is an understatement?).
The woman's parachute had malfunctioned and she ended up hitting the ground at 50 MPH ... FACE FIRST. She lived and is doing well now, skydiving again even. But the magazine published a photo of her soon after the crash when her face was TOTALLY jacked with an entire row of teeth missing. I think her eyes were out of place too. She kinda resembled Cookie Monster, but not nearly as cute.
Anyhow, I think my sister is totally gonna burn in hell for saying that. I got her all paranoid by shaking my head and saying, "Karma, dude. Karma." Now she's afraid to leave the house.