The other night, after dinner, Nico announced that he wanted to make a book for Nolan. I praised him for being so thoughtful and kind to his baby brother. We set up crayons and paper and Nico got to work. He started writing a letter: "Dear Noli Poli, today is We-".
It went downhill from there.
Here's a transcript:
Nico: How do you spell Wednesday?
Me: [pauses and decides not to throw him off with the "d"] How do you think it's spelled?
Nico:I don't know. Why don't you tell me?
Me: How about if you sound it out?
Nico: [impatiently] No. How about you just tell me?
Me: Sound it out. Wennnnnnsday. Wennnnnnnnnsday.
Nico: [enraged] JUST TELL ME!
Me: Just try to sound it out.
Nico: FINE! FINE! STUPID!
[one minute of silence]
Nico: [smiling sweetly] Want to read my letter?
Nico: I'll read it to you: Dear Noli Poli. Today is We Hate Mommy Day!
For emphasis, Nico made "Hate", "Mommy" and "Day" three different colors, with the exclamation point elaborately decorated in four colors - black, red, yellow and green. Then he circled "Hate" - just in case I missed it.
I would have posted a photo of the drawing, but he scribbled black crayon over the entire paper.
Note to self: Hang on to this drawing so when he's a teenager asking for money, I can whip this out and say, "I don't think so."