Halloween = dressing like a dog

Here's a slightly edited chat transcript between me and my friend Bob about Nico's Halloween costume. This was the third year in a row that Nico wore a dog costume I bought for 10 bucks off of eBay:

Bob: how was halloween???
me: halloween was good
me: nico actually got it this year!
Bob: yeah? did both you and vic take him around?
me: when he and vic returned from trick-or-treating, nico pulled out an eyeball candy and asked if he could eat it
me: but then he got distracted by the trick-or-treaters at the door
me: vic took him, i passed out candy
Bob: what was he?
me: he was a dog for the third year in a row
me: i bought his costume for $10 off ebay 3 years ago
me: and it still fits
me: and i'm a cheap chinese mom so he's going to wear it until it bursts at the seams!
me: :-D
Bob: right! that's great
Bob: are the neighbors like, uh, he's still a dog??
me: well, kimberly, jonathan and others were all "AGAIN???"
me: me: "what is your problem??"
me: them: "next year, we'll buy him a friggin new costume ourselves!
me: me: "whatever. it still fits"
Bob: right...
Bob: but do you think he has it in his head that halloween is when he dresses up like a dog?
Bob: i mean, he won't get the whole, you can be ANYTHING idea
me: well, as i zipped him into the costume, he did say "i want to be a power ranger"
Bob: of course

Seeking toddler soccer tips

So Nico started playing in a soccer league for toddlers two weeks ago. So far, he likes the practices, but just stands still on the field during the game. He gets upset that everybody is running after the ball and not just giving it to him!

I'm not sure how to teach a four-year-old how to play and enjoy competitive sports. Was it a mistake to get him into soccer this young? Advice?

Soccer moms and super donuts

Great. Nico just started full-week preschool last week and I'm already getting a reputation as a Pesky Parent. It started when I noticed the school food menu offering a "Super Donut" as a weekly breakfast option. "Donuts for breakfast? What kind of place is this?" I asked myself.

So I exchanged emails with the school district's food services supervisor explaining my concern and got a bunch of other parents all worked up too. I also proposed contacting Whole Foods to see if they'd be interested in supplying healthy foods to our school, since they will be opening up a store in the area soon. I think I'm going to have to join the PTA.

Also, Nico has his first soccer practice this Saturday. It should be pretty funny watching four-year-olds run around trying to play soccer. I guess this makes me an Official Soccer Mom.

Case on the Cuyahoga closing picnic

Last night, we had a closing picnic for Case's Summer on the Cuyahoga program. Case students and their alumni hosts all gathered at the beautiful home of Carol and David Skirball for an evening of great food and conversation.

It's been very rewarding being able to meet, or get to know better, Case students through this program. Our students had to apply to be part of the program along with students from other elite schools, including Yale and Princeton. Employers chose the students they wanted for each internship and it's great to see that our students can compete with the best of them. My student, Josh, has been asked to stay on throughout the year. His internship is with Thompson Hine, a prestigious law firm.

It's hard to predict how many of these students will actually pursue a career in Cleveland after they graduate, but I hope this program will help fuel the Brain Gain. (Here's a plug on behalf of a friend: Janet Cho runs the Brain Gain feature every Monday in the Plain Dealer. Email her if you know anyone who fits the bill.)

Anyhow, the Summer on the Cuyahoga program is an excellent way for Cleveland alums to connect with current students. I'd encourage all area alums to get involved with this program next year, whether it's providing an internship, planning a social program, or serving as a host. It's a great way to contribute to Case and to the Greater Cleveland community.

Dumplings on the Cuyahoga

This summer, I've been involved with Summer on the Cuyahoga, a program that encourages college students from Case, Colgate, Cornell, Princeton, Smith and Yale to explore professional careers in Cleveland. The selective program places students in valuable summer internships and includes a variety of social programs too. During the summer, all SOTC students live in one of Case's residence halls. Each student is paired with an alumni host who helps them get acclimated to Cleveland. The Plain Dealer recently covered the program.

As an alumni host, I was paired with Case student, Josh Shaw, an economics pre-law major. Josh is awesome! He's sharp, thoughtful, funny and just an all-around great kid who also happens to be good friends with two of my interns, Joan Chase and Janine Kaiser. Yesterday, all three of them came over for dinner. Joanie and Janine came over early to help me cook, as Joanie has been asking me to teach her how to make Chinese dumplings. The three of us made flower dumplings and pearl balls together. I also made sesame peanut noodles too. (These aren't the recipes I used, but they're kinda close. Also, I generally use ground chicken instead of ground pork.)

We had a nice dinner together. These students are so impressive! All three of them are econ majors (they might be double or triple majors, actually) who read the Economist regularly and are keenly aware of global issues. These students are so focused and so engaged, so connected to the people and places around them. It's inspiring, really. I love talking with them about their plans for the future: Josh applying to law schools, Joanie gearing up for her Experiential Learning Fellowship in Amsterdam this fall, Janine preparing for another Engineers Without Borders trip to the Dominican Republic soon, etc.

Another thing that struck me is how well-mannered Josh, Joanie and Janine are. I hired, trained and managed Joanie and Janine so I already know how they behave in a work setting, but to see them in a more social setting is something else. All of them, including Josh, are very gracious and polite. I guess because I'm a mom with a four-year-old, I'm very aware of good manners right now. We're trying to teach Nico to be courteous and thoughtful, beyond just saying "please" and "thank you". Clearly, Josh, Joanie and Janine have great parents who raised them well.

I had a very enjoyable evening with these guys. I'm convinced that each of them is a rising star that will make Case proud some day.

The party's over

What a weekend - I'm exhausted.

Yesterday was Nico's birthday party and we had more than 60 people in our back yard, with at least a third of them under age five. The event may have taken years off my life, but it was totally worth it. Nico had a great time, despite being whiny and crabby at times (no nap).

The party was much like a wedding, with so much happening in a blur of activity. The main difference, though, was the added fun of having to say, "Stop that! Share! You have to share! Do I need to take that away from you?" at regular intervals.

For the most part, Nico behaved well and greeted his guests as I had coached him earlier: Say hello, give your friend a hug, and say, "Thank you for coming to my party." Nico did this for the first handful of guests, but after a while, he just ran up to people, pointed to the wrapped gift in their hands and said, "That's for me? Yes, it's my birthday, that's for me." He had to be reminded many times to be a gracious host.

A few people noticed that we had a culturally diverse mix of people at the party. It was one of the best things about the day - we had guests from Nigeria, India, Egypt, Taiwan and from various parts of the U.S. (North Dakota, Georgia, etc.). One of Nico's friends, whose parents are Australian, was also supposed to come, but had to fly back home for a family emergency.

I think most people who know me and Vic well have come to expect that social gatherings we host will typically have some sort of cultural component attached to them, such as our Lunar New Year party or our multicultural potluck dinners.

I'd like to think that even if Nico weren't part Taiwanese and Italian, we would still raise him to be understanding and appreciative of diverse cultures. But especially since he is multicultural, it's important that he sees the world as beyond black and white.

Anyhow, Nico had a great time at his back yard bash. He loved the Thomas & Friends theme and kept saying "Wow!" when he saw all the decorations. He chowed down on sushi, potstickers, pizza, rigatoni, watermelon and, of course, birthday cake. He led the crowd in singing "Happy Birthday" to himself and he got loads of presents, which I'm tempted to hide until Christmas and the one after that and the one after that. We don't want him to be spoiled and really, how many toys does a four-year-old boy need?

Beyond the material stuff, Nico's very fortunate in other ways. Yesterday, besides being surrounded by so many of his friends, he was also lucky to have grandparents and his great uncle and aunt there to join him for his big day. It was a fun celebration of friends and family.

Preschool birthday parties

Lately, I've been busy planning Nico's birthday party. He'll be four next week. Vic and I are planning another back yard party for him and few of his preschool pals.

For the last two years, Nico has been really into Thomas the Tank Engine, so I bought a bunch of stuff to have a Thomas themed party: plates, napkins, cups, favors, stickers, etc. I was quite pleased with myself - until Nico decided that he's now into Spiderman instead.

Mr. Manners

Nico is becoming increasingly independent and confident. Last night, he accused me of being rude to him. He warned me that if I did not stop being rude, he would not love me.

Trust in trustees?

Who is this mysterious board of trustees that makes important decisions that affect the lives of so many students, faculty and staff? Can we trust them to serve in our best interests?

I first thought about these issues 10 years ago as a graduate student at Ohio State. It never occurred to me before then to think about trustees' roles in governing a university.

While I was working on a master's degree in journalism, I wrote for Ohio State's student newspaper, the Lantern. The first story I wrote was about the appointment of a new trustee.

At Ohio State, trustees are appointed by the governor. My story for the Lantern was the lead story in the paper (probably not so much because of my reporting or widespread student interest in trustee activities, but more because it was a slow news week). Shortly after my piece ran, a woman wrote a letter to the editor criticizing the governor for appointing another white male to the board. I contacted the woman and wrote a follow-up piece that also ended up on the front page.

The experience was invaluable. I learned so much about the newsgathering process from covering that one story, and also about the interplay of politics and power at a major university.

Sometimes student journalists underestimate the access they have to people in power. Back then, when I first set out to contact the governor's office for a comment on the trustee appointment, no one would help me. Finally, I called one last time, reminding the staffer that it was an election year and that the Lantern has a circulation of 50,000. Someone called me back within five minutes!

Now, I'm finding myself thinking again about university trustees and their role in decision-making.

Where are the women?

This week, five alumni were appointed to serve on Case's Board of Trustees, according to yesterday's Case Daily.

While I'm happy to learn that the new appointees are alums of the university, I can't help but wonder why of the five, none of them are women. I haven't seen photos of the men (I'm assuming they are all men, just going by their first names: John, Joseph, Thomas, Andrew and Alan), so I don't know if any of the men represent diversity in terms of race or ethnicity.

Sometimes people get annoyed when diversity issues get brought up in situations like this. People are tired of hearing about divisions across race, class and gender lines, but we need to think about the goals of higher education. Do we aim to enlighten and empower people? Are we committed to making higher education accessible to those who might not otherwise have the means to pursue a college degree? Do we want to educate future leaders who will be well equipped to thrive in an increasingly global community? Then, these issues are still important and relevant.

It's encouraging to me that all of the new appointees have graduated from Case and that they all appear to be quite accomplished. But surely there are women who fit the bill.

Directly underneath that news item in the Case Daily, there was a mention of the university's faculty diversity officer: "Beth McGee, the university's faculty diversity officer, is the administrator of a university-wide listserv that publicizes Case diversity activities, disseminates information, and brainstorms about diversity ideas. If you would like to be on the listserv please contact bethmcgee@case.edu, or e-mail university-diversity-general@case.edu."

Ironic.

Parents as lifelong learners

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time with some of Nico's classmates' parents. Often, you find your friends based on proximity - people who live near you or people you work with and see every day. But besides the fact that we all send our children in the same preschool program, I'm developing wonderful friendships with some of the other parents.

I met many parents last year when the Cleveland Heights-University Heights school district planned to close Millikin, its day care facility. Several parents became actively involved in ensuring that the school system stay committed to quality early childhood education programming. After spending a lot of time meeting and planning with these parents, I've come to really admire them.

At Case's commencement this May, along with Vic, some of Nico's classmates' parents earned advanced degrees too. One graduated with a PhD in organization behavior, and another finished a law degree (at the top of her class! With two daughters, one born just months before graduation!).

It's really inspiring to see that while we are all focused on our children's education, as parents, we are committed to our own continuing education too.

Schools and community

Over the past weekend, Nico and I walked over to the Roxboro Arts Festival. It was a great event! Even though Nico won't be starting kindergarten until next fall, it was nice to bring him to the festival. There were plenty of activities for preschoolers like him. At the arts and crafts area, he made a stained "glass" (colored paper) decoration, a pencil holder and a beaded necklace.

I saw a bunch of people from Case there - a dean, a physics professor, a marketing staffer, etc. I also some familiar faces from various school district organizations, parents who are deeply involved in the schools. I also noticed that there was a good mix of cultures represented at the event. It's not often that I find that in Cleveland, although I do experience it a lot living in Cleveland Heights. It's one of the biggest reasons why we chose to live there.

There was live music at the event and a lot of vendors selling jewelry and handicrafts. You could even purchase art created by the Cleveland Heights school students. The food area was great too - there was a nice assortment of treats, from the healthy (fresh fruit) to the decadent (brownies and ice cream). I was really amazed that along with pizza and burritos, you could get Korean noodles!

The arts festival was an incredible display of community spirit, family involvement and support for the schools. In the next few weeks, the Cleveland Heights-University Heights school district will be deciding on which elementary school to close. I really hope it isn't Roxboro.

Vic's graduation

Yesterday afternoon, we attended the diploma ceremony for Case's Weatherhood School of Management. Vic was there to receive his master of science in management - operations research (MSM-OR) degree.

There were a bunch of people on Van Horn field before the ceremony started. I ran into Joe Prahl, chair of the aerospace engineering department, there - I see him everywhere! There were so many smiling grads surrounded by proud family members snapping photos and shooting videos.

While Nico and I were waiting for the ceremony to begin, we ran into our friend Bash, Vic's classmate. She was with her family who had traveled from Nigeria for the ceremony. It was the first time I met Bash's father. It was nice to finally meet him and to see Bash's mom again, and her fiance, Kalu, too.

Joining me and Nico for the ceremony were Vic's father, his stepmother Marilyn, his Uncle Wayne and Aunt Connie, and my parents. I was really happy that my parents came. My sister's graduation ceremony (she earned a master's degree in social work) was this weekend too and since none of us traveled to California for that, I'm glad my parents at least got to see Vic's ceremony.

Vic looked great in his cap and gown! I didn't take any photos of him wearing the regalia, but I think (hope) my dad did. During the processional, we were surprised to see a medal hanging from a ribbon on his chest. Apparently, he won a dean's academic achievement award (he earned a perfect 4.0 throughout his program).

The diploma ceremony itself was really cool. Weatherhead has a tradition where family members can join graduates as they walk across the stage to receive their diplomas. Originally, Vic hadn't planned to participate in the ceremony, but changed his mind when he learned about this tradition. So when his name was called, Vic, Nico and I got to share in the experience, along with Vic's father, stepmother, uncle and aunt. Nico was so excited that he got to be on "TV" (the projected screen displaying a close-up view of the stage).

It was really inspiring to see graduates from all over the world in one room, some in their native dress. I saw one Japanese woman who looked breathtaking in her kimono. Some grads had entourages of more than 10 people join them onstage. The audience clapped extra long for those amazing displays of family support.

I'm really glad we decided to take part in the ceremony. I had skipped my master's degree ceremony, but yesterday made me wish I hadn't. I hope that Nico will remember the ceremony and want to experience for himself one day.

After the ceremony, Vic's dad took all of out to dinner. When we got home, Vic and I shared a bottle of champagne and spent the night talking about what a great day it was. We pored through the commencement booklet and marveled all the accomplishments the graduates had achieved - double and triple majors, summa cum laude, Phi Beta Kappa, etc. We talked about possible future plans for further education. Vic asked me, "So, when do you want to start on that PhD?" Hmm.

See you next year, Cavs

I keep saying that I'm not going to care about Cleveland sports anymore, but just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. It's so heartbreaking!

Unless you've been a lifelong Cleveland sports fan, it's hard to relate to what I'm saying. But when you face disappointment season after season, year after year, it really starts to get to you. It's not a superficial concern - I'm convinced that there are some public health implications here. For instance, I wonder if there's any correlation between performance of the Indians/Browns/Cavs and northeast Ohio hypertension rates. Hmmm. Anyhow, I'm sad that the Cavs' run is over, but they went further than I expected, so I tip my hat to them. Wait 'til next year, I guess.

It's amazing to see how Cleveland sports teams bring together people across race, culture and class boundaries. There have been times when my husband and my parents, Taiwanese immigrants, have sat in silence trying to think of things to say to each other. Then my dad will say, "Did you watch the Cavs yesterday?" and he and Vic will talk for a good half hour about that.

When I lived in California, I didn't encounter too many people who felt such an attachment to their city's sports teams. I had a roommate who was a diehard San Francisco 49ers fan, but it's easy to follow a (then) successful team. I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that Clevelanders are so attached to their teams. I guess it does build some sort of sense of community or shared experience.

The love affair continues...

Nico is still deeply in love with me. It's actually bordering on ridiculous at this point. He is totally into me and completely NOT into his dad right now. At first, Vic found it kind of amusing but I think he's starting to feel a little left out now.

Every night, at bed time, Nico tries to cajole me into sleeping in his bed: "Sleep next to me, Mama! Bring your pillow! I love you! I love you, Mama Penguin!" (We just watched "March of the Penguins" together the other day.) Every morning, he wakes up, runs to our bedroom and jumps into bed between me and Vic. He wakes me with kisses and coos, "I love you so much! I am Nico Kitty Cat and you are Mama Kitty Cat and Daddy is Daddy DOG. Meow!"

Who knew that a three-year-old could be so passionate?

He loves me, he loves Vic not

Things are so awesome with Nico these days. A few weeks ago, he told me for the first time that he loves me! I've waited three and a half years for this!

Now every morning when he wakes up, he comes over, kisses me a zillion times and says, "I love you, Mama. I love you so much times." I tell him, "I love you too, Nico. I love you ALL the time" and he replies, "Me too." Then Vic tries to butt in with "Ohh! Do you love me too?" to which Nico replies, "I like you a little bit."

I'm not sure why Nico is so in love with me these days. He's constantly complimenting me: "Mama, you are cute and you are pretty and I am hamsome." Then of course, Vic has to butt in again and be all, "What about me?" Nico's response: "You are ugggerry."

It's amazing that Nico is so into me these days. I guess there is something to that Oedipus complex stuff after all.

Hello, diaperless world!

Wow, without the toilet training thing dominating my life, I don't know what to blog about anymore.

It's so crazy. A friend had told me that once your child is toilet trained, "it's a whole new world". She's totally right! It's so nice not having to lug a diaper bag everywhere now. Also, I have all this disposable income now that I don't have to drop a ton of money on diapers and wipes. Vic and I saw two movies - in the theater, mind you - in the span of two weeks shortly after Nico was potty trained. Yahoo! Let the good times roll!

Beyond the toilet-training front, Nico is doing really well. Now that he has moved up to the toilet-trained kids' class at preschool, he is learning a ton. In his new class, they already do science experiments! They made a volcano a few weeks ago. And it was really cool during Black History Month when Nico showed me a photo of a baseball player and said, "That's Jackie Robinson."

As for me, I'm feeling better about myself as a parent right now. For a while, especially last semester when Vic was working and taking a full load of graduate classes, I was perpetually overwhelmed and stressed out. This semester has been a lot better. Then again, Vic is on spring break, so things might get crazy again starting next week. We'll see!

Farewell, diapers!

Hooray! This may be my last post about poo!

Nico has made a ton of progress lately, on the toilet-training front. His preschool teachers decided to bump him up to the next class, even though he wasn't really potty-trained yet. The idea was that the older kids would model desired behavior and he would follow suit. It's working!

I think it also helped that Nico's good buddy, Jacob, came over last week. They had a one-on-one sit-down. While the adults were gathered at the dining table feasting on Chinese New Year treats, Jake and Nico sat by themselves at the little table. Jake looked Nico in the eye and said, "So. Why don't you want to poop in the potty?" Nico was quiet and looked away. Since then, Nico has been pooping in the potty - a lot.

Now, Nico will brag to anyone who will listen: "I pooped in the potty today! I pooped a BIG one! Yeah! It hurt me."

I am so happy!

Songs that make you go poop

Everyone who knows me even moderately well has heard my tales of woe regarding toilet training. Even one of my interns, a college junior, has been offering advice. She was gracious enough to share with me the lyrics from a song her mother used to sing for her during successful potty incidents:

Hooray For Nico
He pooped in the potty
And we're so proud of him.
Yea, yea, yea

He is such a good boy
We love him everyday
Hooray, for Nico, Hooray!
Yea, yea, yea

Maybe pretty much always means no

Even though Nico is only three years old, he's already figured out that when I say "maybe", what I really mean is "never".

I don't recall ever playing Jack Johnson/Ben Harper's song "Might Just Let It Go" for him, but it seems that he totally relates to the lyrics:

It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down

I didn't realize it but I say "maybe" a lot to him. He'll ask if he can go see the stegasaurus outside the Cleveland Museum of Natural History Museum and I'll say, "Maybe". Then we don't go.

It's so early for Nico to become cynical and I hate that he thinks my word means nothing. He's started to turn the tables on me now too. I'll ask him if he wants to use the potty and he'll say, "Maybe next time". To him, that means "never" too.

Oh no, my sister may be going to hell

My sister has a wicked sense of humor and tends to be brutally honest - a dangerous combination. She's very talented at ripping someone to shreds with just a few choice words. Even when she's not trying to be mean, she is. Sometimes I'll go on and on about something I feel quite passionate about and she'll cut me off and say, calmly, "This conversation is not important to me."

So anyway, over the holiday break, she came to visit from San Francisco. She brought with her a stack of celebrity gossip magazines. One day, she pointed out a magazine article to me and said, "If I ever look like this, kill me." It was a story about a woman who survived a major skydiving mishap (maybe "mishap" is an understatement?).

The woman's parachute had malfunctioned and she ended up hitting the ground at 50 MPH ... FACE FIRST. She lived and is doing well now, skydiving again even. But the magazine published a photo of her soon after the crash when her face was TOTALLY jacked with an entire row of teeth missing. I think her eyes were out of place too. She kinda resembled Cookie Monster, but not nearly as cute.

Anyhow, I think my sister is totally gonna burn in hell for saying that. I got her all paranoid by shaking my head and saying, "Karma, dude. Karma." Now she's afraid to leave the house.

Friends, family, funeral

Our friend Zaid's mother passed away and we attended her funeral yesterday.

It was an emotionally intense day. Two of our friends flew in from out of town - Bill from North Carolina, and Will from California - and all of us went to the funeral together. It's always great to see old friends, but we wished this reunion had been during happier circumstances.

Zaid's family is Muslim so the service was held in a mosque. Even though the day was very sad, it was also culturally enriching for me. It felt kind of like visiting another country. Experiencing a culture different from your own can be enlightening and also humbling. I felt like a child, ignorant of the customs and traditions around me and powerless in understanding my surroundings.

I had never been in a mosque before. Everyone must remove their shoes before entering the prayer hall. Women must cover their hair; I didn't have a headscarf so I had to borrow one from the mosque. Women and men sit separately, men in the front and women in the back. There are a few chairs in the back of the room, but besides those, everyone sits on the floor.

I was herded into a row where I was the only non-Muslim. I didn't count, but I'd estimate that there were at least 150 people in the room. I felt awkward not knowing when to kneel, stand, or pray. I felt self-conscious and worried that my ignorance would offend the believers around me. There was a beautiful young girl near me, who looked to be about seven years old. She kept looking back at me. She must have wondered, "Who let this idiot in? She never knows when to sit or stand."

One of the women in front of me was crying and kept hugging the woman next to her. I realized that I was standing directly behind Zaid's sister. I couldn't stop my own tears from falling.

I expected a eulogy honoring the memory of Zaid's mother but it never came. Instead, the imam delivered a message reminding us, "Death comes to all of us." Even though it was a sobering thought, it was also strangely comforting. The imam told us to prepare for death and to judge ourselves and our deeds.

After the service, we got into our cars to caravan to the cemetery. Someone stuck funeral procession flags with Arabic writing on all of the vehicles. Zaid's mother was buried in an Islamic cemetery. The gravestones were written in Arabic and English and I noticed one where I was standing. It was for a four-year-old child who passed away last year.

During the burial, the men gathered in the front once again, while the women stood behind. I couldn't really see too much. It was cold and muddy. Zaid's mother was lowered into the ground, with her head facing Mecca. Then, Zaid and his two brothers began shoveling in dirt to fill the grave. Other men were invited to assist, so Vic, Bill and Will also took turns with the shovels.

I had never seen Zaid look so sad, nor so serious. Most of us who know him think of him as a fun-loving friend who likes to joke and tease. Making him laugh is so rewarding! Watching him lead the men in filling his mother's grave was heartwrenching.

At one point, Zaid, his brothers, and his sister all stood around their father. I'll never forget the image of Zaid's father standing before his wife's grave with eyes closed, his four children surrounding him, crying, with their arms around him. You couldn't help but feel the intensity of their family bond.

Zaid's mother was not just the matriarch of her family, but she was also a leader in her community. She will be missed.

Toilet training really stinks

Project Toilet Training is going quite horribly. I think Nico may be the oldest in his class now. He has seen many a friend move on to the advanced class but he doesn't seem to mind at all.

Right before Christmas, we heard some great news. His teacher called us at home one morning. Vic answered the phone and was alarmed. "What happened? Is everyone OK?" Vic asked. Miss Maria said she had good news to share. She put Nico on the phone and he announced quite proudly, "I pooped in the toilet. I pooped a BIG one."

We were thrilled.

Even though he never repeated the act again, Miss Maria instructed us to bring Nico in underwear after Winter Break. So I thought I'd do a test run first. It didn't go too well. Here's the breakdown:

- Underwear 1 (Thomas the Tank Engine): Soaked it with pee
- Underwear 2 (Finding Nemo): Soiled it with a "BIG one"

I was so annoyed about the second pair of underwear. Nico had not had a bowel movement in two days and I finally said, "I've got to go to the bathroom. Wanna come?" He politely declined and while I was gone, he took the opportunity to unload his baggage, so to speak, in his pants. I couldn't have been gone a minute, but he took care of business very quickly, apparently.

When I hauled him off to the bathroom to change him, I guess he decided, what the heck. So as he stood in the bathtub waiting for me to figure out how to remove his poopy underwear, and possibly, pants, he peed himself. I swear, I think he did it just to spite me. It was as if he were saying, "Ha. You may think you call the shots, but I will decide where and when I'm going to take a dump, thank you very much."

Vic and I don't understand why Nico would rather walk around with poo smeared all over his butt cheeks than just unload in the toilet. It's like he would rather suffer extreme discomfort just to have this smelly moral victory over us. Why is he so stubborn?

I had called a hotline about a month ago. The woman told me to tell Nico, "Now that you're three years old, it's your responsibility to keep you body clean and dry." Then he was supposed to remove his soiled diaper, wipe himself, and put on a new one. That advice was terrible.

Man. I was really hoping to avoid posting any more stories about toilet training. I was hoping that 2006 would be about new adventures, new frontiers. I guess I'll have to wait a while longer.